Some background first.
My hubby and I share our housekeeping duties:
I provide groceries - he cooks.
I clean - he is the Public Relations-slash-IT Guy person.
We also bicker. A lot. It keeps things interesting. And both of us are very VERY stubborn.
I should also point out, that while I'm pretty decent with software and pirating stuff (Arrgh!), I am a total N00b when it comes to hardware. I can barely tell a hard drive from a toaster.
Yeah.

---

So my hubby, being my private IT Guy and all, decided that it's time to take the Big Step and move to Win 7.
"We're gonna do it, babe." He says to me on Thursday. "It'll be awesome. And quick. Win 7 is like that. I read it somewhere." He adds reassuringly after seeing my dubious face.
"Friday after work. Be prepared."
So I did. Prepare, that is. Moved all my crap to my backup drive. All 47GB of it. Jeez. I had no idea I had so much stuff. But it sort of collected over time. Movies, photos, books (OMGBOOKS!!) and other various this-and-thats. I wrote down my favorite firefox addons, saved and exported all my bookmarks. You know, the whole shebang.

Friday. After work. 6PM:
"Have at it, Bear. Good luck." I say to my hubby, who strolls confidently into my office space with a box of funky-looking items.
"What's that?" I ask, pointing to his box of electronics.
"Oh yeah, I decided, what while I'm at it, I'm gonna replace your motherboard and give you more RAM. You'll love it, babe. Your computer will be faster." He swears to me. "Two hours tops."
I frown.
I heard that one before. It didn't end well.
Now, I'm not the type of person, who automatically rejects any new thing. I like change. Change is good. But why mess with a perfectly good thing? My computer is OK. I can work on it just fine. I don't need fast computer. I'm not in a hurry. So WHY change it?
But I let it go. It's useless to argue with a computer geek about the pros and cons of a dual-core processor and an extra GB of RAM. I have no idea what either does anyway, so I'll just be wasting energy.
So I shrug and let him do his geeky magic.
Hubby nods and spreads his tools on the floor, and then proceeds to gut my computer.
Oh, it's messy. Various computer intestines and organs litter my hardwood floor for the next 2 hours.
Hubby grins like an idiot and lights up another cigarette.

Friday, 8PM:
Computer won't start.
I lift an eyebrow. "Problem?"
Hubby scratches his chin in contemplation. Mumbles something about jumpers and dives in with the forceps.

Friday, 9PM:
My backup drive is not connected. Apparently the new motherboard has some issues with my old HD. "I will give you a bigger, better HD. Newer too. As it stands right now, I can't connect it, because it creates a conflict...blahblahblah..." I can't understand a word of what he's trying to tell me. All I hear is, Backup won't work. Data lost. HAHA! Looser.
"Fix it."
Bear blinks at me in confusion.
"I can't..."
I cut him off with a hand. " I don't want to hear it, Bear. I want my data back. I don't care if you have to go back to my old motherboard. I want my files back!"
He rolls his eyes at me. Then he grins like a Cheshire Cat.
Oh-oh.
"This is going to cost you." He says with a wicked glint in his eyes.

Friday, 10PM:
Negotiations, Hour 1:
Bear's demands are pretty outrageous.
1. New Anno 1404 game.
2. Transfer of cooking duties for a month.
3. Pass on 3 family functions - no questions asked.

I'm considering caving in.
My backup drive is being held hostage and I am slowly starting to twitch at the sight of my messy hardwood floor. This is torture and Bear knows it. He knows ME. Eleven years, and the man knows exactly how to push my buttons.
Damn him.

Friday, 10:30:
Negotiations, Hour 1.5:
We have reached an understanding.
Bear drives a hard bargain, but tired as I am, I am not about to clean, shop AND cook for a whole month. So he's going to get:
1. New Anno 1404 game. (which will get him off my back for at least a month, more me-time! YAY!)
2. Transfer of cooking duties for a WEEK. (I'm just not going to do EVERYTHING around here!)
3. Pass on 1 family function - excluding Christmas. (That one is just too important, and NO, you don't have to buy my folks a present. I will do it for you...)
Bear demands I print him a copy of the Contract so that he can refer to it when needed.
Jeezus. That man is a pain.

Saturday, Hour unknown:
I am being awaken rather rudely by a mass of 220 pounds of muscle bouncing on my bed.
"Babe, I know how to fix your backup HD." The mass pronounces into my ear, while scratching my neck with his stubble.
I wipe at my groggy eyes. "Jeez, Bear, what time is it?" My mouth feels like I've been chewing on a cotton ball. I make a face.
"I don't know. Around 6 or something. But I figured out how to connect your backup drive." He handles me a glass of water, and launches into a pretty detailed monologue about RAIDs and other things I can't understand. I nod and pretend to listen.

Saturday, 7AM:
After being forced out of bed at 6:17AM (!!!) and ordered to "Make me coffee, babe. Loveyah," I am further being forced to "assist". At 7AM.
"This is NOT how I imagined starting out my Saturday," I mumble to myself, while holding a bunch of cables in one hand, and a Motherboard Manual in other.
Hubby humms to himself and grins at me from time to time.
Is it wrong of me to want to strangle him with the hard drive cables?

Saturday, 9AM:
My computer starts. It also freezes when Bear tries to open BIOS setup. Something about my primary HD not functioning like it should.
I am being send to fetch more coffee.
As I squeeze my way through a bunch of mini-ninjas and baby-bumblebees and one very disturbing child hoochie-momma (Seriously?! Who dresses his kid as a little hooker?! Parent FAIL, this way please.), I ponder about things like "It'll be quick. And awesome."
I drown my sorrows in a large ice coffee and a fresh ham and egg croissant. Bear gets plain croissant and a small coffee.
You gotta get your revenge in any way possible.

Saturday, 10AM:
Hubby pulls out his copy of Win 7.
I wipe of my imaginary tears of happiness.
They are short-lived.
Apparently, my previous version of Windows has to be installed FIRST, in order to install this newer version. Quick and easy, my seater.

Saturday, 11AM:
As I fetch YET ANOTHER COFFEE for my hard-working Bear, I think that I can live without my backup files. I mean, it might be a bit inconvenient to have to download all my crap again... my bookmarks can be saved again, I didn't have THAT many of them. My photos... I wasn't really attached to those as well... And besides, I still have my laptop. I can live on it. I don't need a big black computer with pretty blue lights. My laptop has blue lights too...

Saturday, 12PM:
Bear: Coffee #4, cigarette #... I lost count.
Helena: Chamomile Tea & Jelly Bellies.
Computer: Installing Win 7, 5% and counting.

Saturday, 12:30PM
Computer: Installing Win 7, 5% and counting.
Helena: frowns and sips her chamomile tea.
Bear: palms his screwdriver and eyes my computer case with a new glint in his eye.
This doesn't look good.

Saturday, 2PM
Now two computers are gutted and lying on my pretty hardwood floor.
Apparently, my Primary HD decided to rebel after a force restart during an installation, and a new HD was needed. Since my backup is off limits, Bear had to open his computer and pull out one of his HDs and move it to mine.
I think I'm hungry.

Saturday, 3PM
I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to calling a Windows 7 support and asking them to please register my copy. I used to hate to do that. But today, I am strangely jubilant about the idea. "Give my the phone, Bear. And put away the screwdriver."

Saturday, 3:10PM
My Win 7 is installed and looking... exactly like my other system did.
Bear grins proudly and fumbles with the mouse. "See? See how FAST it is now? And look here, you have that new option. And here, it rates your computer at 4.5. That's good, babe. Really good."
I stare at it blankly.
All I see is... black box with pretty blue lights.
But Bear is excited, so I guess it's all good.


THE END.


Things I learned from this experience:
1. Invest in an external HD for your backup files, so that it can't be taken hostage and used against you at any time.
2. If Micr0s0ft says it'll be quick and painful, THEY'RE STINKING LIARS!
3. Jelly Belies are NOT a nutritious and healthy lunch substitute.
4. Bear loves his screwdriver a little too much. Must. Keep. Hidden. At. All. Times.

holy shit. so let me get this right...Your hubby bear screws up your computer then blackmails you into his fixing it? If I were you, I would have told him he better get that thing up and running or else not only are you going to kick his ass from here to kingdom come, but HE will be doing all the chores for two months along with you withholding any and every type of pleasurable activity that he will be involved with (if you get my drift). Thank god you got everything back, hon - great story!

haha, yeah, I actually thought of that AFTER I printed out the contract.
He had me at a disadvantage on three accounts:
1. I was pretty tired at this point and not operating on full capacity
2. I'm very anal when it comes to cleanliness. All that mess made me a bit twitchy and I might not have been thinking rationally. I just wanted it all OFF my floor
3. I was pretty desperate to get my backup files back.

But yeah, it all ended well. I'm now installing all my crap back. What a fun day!

Helena?? I have read some funny stuff around here? but this lllllllllllmao! by far, the most funny!!

Sorry to laugh at your pain-but it was priceless!!!

Anytime bear gets out that screwdriver again?? please, oh pllllllllease! hhhhhhhhhahhahaa tell us!

Don't take this the wrong way, but maybe Bear should take a few PC upgrade courses? And if someone did that to my PC and then held me "hostage" over it, they would have been picking their teeth up with a dust pan and hand broom. I have a freind who's husband did pretty much the same thing to her... convinced her that he could upgrade her pc to "make it better". 3 days and lots of yelling later, she made him call me. Walking a wannabe PC tech step by step over the phone thru an upgrade after them already gutting the PC was about as nerve wracking as it gets. I can still tell you each new gray hair I got in my beard because of it.

Future reference.... when he gets that glint in his eye, punch him in it.

Wouldn't that be punishing herself as well??

Thanks for sharing Helena, that was a great read.

as someone who has upgrades several pcs from me to xp and xp to vista ive only hade 1 or 2 problems which ended up being my fault. granted m/s upgrades/installed are not usually easy but u usually spend most time just waiting for the thing to install. sorry u had such a bad experience. i have also heard good things about 7 and am prolly going to upgrade to it. its 29.99 for students w00t

^^^^ what dede said!!! OMG, that was the funniet thing I have read in forever. You know what you should do? *insert evil grin here* You should go to Windows support and find the Windows 7 insallation forum where you can post problems and have people help you solve them.... and paste your story there!! I'll bet in 2 weeks time Bear would be a legend.

tl;dr

Thanks for sharing the bad experience with us and I am sorry that things did not go smoothly, but what a read this was. I am bookmarking this. Definitely something that is going to keep a smile on my face for a while. I am with debloree though, put it on the Microsoft forums, Bear will be forever famous

Good one Ducky

snap,i get a new program install it on her laptop but she couldn't be arsed.

an absolute brilliant read,thanks Helena.

Helena my mothers name,but we call her Eileen.

Glad to hear you're having a grand time at my expense
Just kidding.
Laugh away. I do too. It's those little things that make the most memorable moments. And I have plenty more where that came from (there were some issues with the memory: something about my existing RAM not working with the new ones. I was asked to remember some number-sequences, like 2-3-2-5 and 2-3-3-8 or something...).
Like I said, we love test our limits. It's very entertaining.

As for putting it up on other boards? I don't think so. This one is for you guys only. While I don't mind sharing my personal life with you, I don't feel the need to go about and announcing it to the whole world. Besides, this was more of a motherboard/hd problem than a win 7 one. And of course the over-confident Bear, who knows best. God bless his soul.

Nah...hopefully she has plenty of toys to fill in the time. And for all we know, poor Helena's hubby-bear has other projects he likes to work on that get royally messed up too! Arg! It might be nice to have a rest....

wow. to be honest i didn't read all of that...
my own personal migration to windows 7 was just another thing,
another day. i was up and amazed in less than an hour.
get a new IT guy? xDD

You should be an author.
Well written. Made a nightmare funny.

that was great! (proly not for you) im glad your up and running.

Good read at least you learned some valuable lessons from it. ..... Um I hope you learned some valuable lessons lol.

That Was an excellent read!! Thank you so much for sharing!

Any other stories? Im sure we would all loooove to hear em!!

Oh my goodness, Ladyhawk is reaching some dangerous territory

I am with Nini, if you have any other stories Helena, please share if that is alright Love ya hon

I read this earlier and had a good giggle I loved this story , thanks for sharing
Next time I would tell him to let someone else do it !! We need you here lol but glad it all worked out in the end

omg girl more stories,,had a great giggle,,,ty for shareing,,,

yes good story, very enjoyable

I agree..... funny as sh*t... and how true how true....

whenever I ask some one in Italy... "how long is it going to take or how much is it going to cost"... the envitable reply is NOT MUCH..... ALARMS go off and I go into social withdrawl..... NOT MUCH (NON MOLTO or NON TANTO) means I am F**ked if I go with the programme. Thanks for the great laugh Helena..... You are a natural.

Brilliant read Helena . Maybe Bear should invest in a hardware class, just in case he decides to do anything like that again. When I installed Win7, I had to rip out one of my hard drives from my current PC, dump that into an old one, then install 7 onto both machines. Had it done in under an hour.

Pat me on the back... I'm a hardware noob.

Enjoyed that Helena, your bear is a genius. Got to play around and get out of a couple of chores. I bet it was all planned

I had a similar prob when i put this pc together about 5/6 years ago. The nvidia chipset on the mainboard and the maxtor hd just would not work together. After trying almost everything (i didn't upgrade the firmware on the hd because that would void the warranty and it was new) i exchanged it for a western digital and all went smooth. Just one of those things.