Because that's just the way it is sometimes Cwisteene. lol.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

eerm....beecaause....hmm this is a hard one.


Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does ?

Edit: oops i got the wrong one again.

"Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?"
Because that is a secret skill passed down the generations of checkout-girls (or boys) and they guard that secret closely.

Why did dolphins evolve to breathe air, yet live in the sea?

They learned how to have the best of both worlds!



How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

hehe strangely enough i hoovered my light fittings last weekend

because they are attracted to light and because they are small they can find the smallest of gaps to fly/crawl into.



Why can't paper file itself? (i mean it's got the words written on it, and files have words on it, so they must know where to go)

Because if it could, a lot of people would be out of work, and we need money to make the world go around. Plus, it figures it has seniority over us because the trees it came from have most likely been here longer then any of us, so it figures it can be lazy!



When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?

lol, because we want a 'quiet' life and if we complained all hell would break loose, probably.

which is probably the answer to alot of questions here....



why are there so many different languages, ie why don't we all speak one language?

We all still wouldn't understand each other!! People just wanted variety!


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off
the table you always manage to knock something else over?

because you weren't meant to save the original falling over thing, so something else has to fall instead.


why did thumper not check his answer properly lol Compliment the Person above you

Because the mischievious fifth dimensional pixies find juggling funny

why do humans still believe that war=peace?

Because even Dostoyevsky felt that War & Peace would make a much more credibly epic title than War! hum! Yeah! What is it Good For.


Why does an 8 look like an unfinished 3?

because you need stronger glasses (or just glasses).


why do we use shampoo, when really, if we didn't wash our hair it would still shine?

Because the shiny stuff is a bunch of fireflies that got stuck in the grease of what you used to call hair...
BUT, if you really don't want to use shampoo, there's always the possibility to turn bald. We'd be scalp buddies. (I heard that Thumps! Stop Laughing!)



Why are babies cute, no matter how actually ugly they are?

Problem solved, and sorry about that. I just gave you a special post. I didn't check after I posted and I should have. No worries though, it all worked out.

Damn, you heard me laughing all the way from Canada? Damn Arn, you got some good ears there. Must help if they aren't covered by hair huh? Sorry bro, couldn't resist!

Why are babies cute, no matter how actually ugly they are? Because no one wants to admit that their child could grow up to be a hell spawn!!!! Beauty is only skin deep for many, but I think 99% of all babies look alike for the first few months they are born anyway.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

EDIT:
awww bless, thank you



lol, because if we didn't we wouldn't have anything to moan about



why is there constant building going on, when there are loads of empty offfices/houses still to be occupied?

Because everyone seems to have to "Bob The Builder" fetish these days!!!



How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

is this the place to find movies?

almost



Why can't I see any signatures?

Cos you have the wrong glasses on.

When did life become more about quantity than quality?

When it became about quantity and quality

what site are we on?

hindsight?

What do penguins wear for play clothes?

Wet suits! (get it? Wet! Cause they're..ya know..wet, when they play...cause they live in snow... and water...Oh Sod OFF!)




What makes the world go round?

Batteries in the core, of course!!


Is a frogs ass water tight?

It is when they keep it closed tight, which means frogs have a heck of a butthole muscle. BUT (no pun intended) they must sometimes "open up" during underwater excursions for propulsion purposes. You see, contrary to popular beliefs, frogs are as good at swimming as Dubbya is good at making any sense. So they only way for them to travel in water is to Power-Fart. Which is why you see their tummy expanding so much when they breath - they take in a s**tload of air to swallow, which will go down the colon and give them Fart Speed.


Why did people wear bell-bottoms during the 70's?

To make their legs look slim (ie you didn't notice how big their thighs were)



I had a great question this morning, but wasn't near my computer, now I've forgotten it, can anyone advise as to what it might've been?

You wanted to know what you can do to remember the questions you wish to ask the Great Thumper, because his awesomness baffles you so much your memory ram gets into overload. Or you wanted my secret recipe for Chop Suey, which will require much persuasion form your part to obtain...


Why is there never a pair of scissors around when you need one?

I never have that problem because I carry them around with me, i have them on my desk, and in a drawer in my kitchen and, and, and.....


Why do they say 'blue for a boy' and 'pink for a girl'?

Because pink for guys and blue for girls just wouldn't be right.


Why do dogs chase their tails?

Because they can't chase their nose.




How do we know the world is round?

'Cause if it was flat, somebody would've pushed Ann Coulter off the edge long ago...


Why was the only assassination attempt on Dubbya done with a shoe???

A simple mis-interpretation of the word 'shoot'. He thought his client had said 'shoe-ed him'.


Where can I download the internet?

From where it was uploaded to.


Why are diamonds a girl's best friend?

it's a myth!! They're not mine.........



Why doesn't dust burn?

Because God made dust to be a natural flame retardant. God wanted so much to spare us from fire that he made sure there would be dust everywhere and that it would automatically reappear 5 seconds after you've taken it off, and in greater quantity, anywhere you dwell or look. Dust is a gift from God, we should be thankful for it every day of our lives and show him our appreciation by collectin all the dust we can find and throwing it in churches!


Why do wood burn so easily?

"Technically wood does not burn...It rapidly oxidizes, the gas given off by that oxidation actually burns"

why do you ask?

Because the answer is all part of a secret equation to take over the world!!!



Why do deer run toward headlights?

because they think the brigtness are the eyes of their friends.


Why are we here?

42.

Its the answer to life, the universe, and everything.



Why do we have different time zones? Why cant the whole world ALL just have dinner at once?

Because this way, the smell of food cooking will always be in the air somewhere, someplace!

Why do people cuss when they get hurt? For instance, when you hit your finger with the hammer while holding a nail in place. Do people think it will help with the pain?

because it's the first word that comes into their head.
not sure about the 'ease of pain' though, although it certainly makes me feel better afterwards



Why are there so many different makes of different things?
ie too many choices of phones/kettles/keyboards/cameras/computers etc.

Because if it was any other way, things would be too simple to chose from, and everyone would own the same stuff.


Why do some people try to be top dog and then accuse others of trying to be the same thing?

It's an ego trip and control thing.



Why doesn't hair dye last longer than 5 weeks?

So you have to buy more sooner then later.


Why do trolls try to take over threads?

because they like to think they are better than everyone else and think they know it all, and like attention, and.....and....and......




why don't they stop selling cigarettes?

Cause weak people like myself keep buying them!!!

Isn't it wrong for someone to come on here and treat others disrespectful but yet if they are a friend of a mod or administrator, they don't get a ban when some one else who does something less gets a ban?

( I think it's sad!!! lol )

Because, thats that power that the GODS have, and by default, being a 'friend' of a god, grants you special powers too....
Thats just the way it has ALWAYS been, through out history, and all ways will be, to the end of man kind.
Trick is, to be a "friend" so you can SHARE the power, but NOT the god, so you dont have to dodge bullets and accusations.



Why do people take words on a computer FROM a mean hearted person, so seriously?

hmmmm, I can't be false like that, tried it, and it didn't work.






Why do we have to go to bed at night?

Well, thats just you, actually. The rest of the world sleeps during the day! LOL



Why do cows MOOooOOOoooo?

Because ducks go quack quack



Why is my ashtray full?

Because the ashtray gods only come and empty it while your asleep- DAH!!!!!!


Why are feet smelly when they sweat?